I Have a Confession…

Over these last 109 days on the race I’ve been holding back. Things that have happened, conversations I’ve had, it’s all been tame. Well, at least that’s what I’ve been sharing with you all. A tame and almost mute version of God. I don’t know about you, but I do not serve a tame God. My God does freaky things to show his power and glory. But here I am, sharing a version of God that isn’t fully true, yet I know you will all agree with. 

 

Well no more. 

 

For over a week I’ve had little nudges of God telling me I wasn’t being honest with everyone back home. Just seeing literal miracles in front of me and sharing half the story. Who am I to do that? Who am I to pick and choose what part of the story I share? What gives me the nerve to think I get to decide that it’s too much. How dare I try and explain what happened without telling what actually happened. 

 

So I’m going to start now. Last night during a prayer God told me “you haven’t been sharing what I’ve done.” I don’t know about y’all, but hearing that from the God of the universe made me start reevaluating some things. I’m not going to go back and share the full truth of every blog I’ve written since I left, but I’m going to start sharing the whole wonders that are happening. 

 

Let’s get another in there, today I had several of my teammates and squad-mates pray over me. During worship last night in front of a brothel I lost my voice, then again today during worship it felt like someone was holding onto my throat. After many prayers we were able to realize that a spirit of lust had attached itself to me, fully trying to silence my voice. After naming it and speaking out against it the feeling was gone and I had knowledge over what I needed to do next. One of those things was writing this blog. 

 

So here I place my confession in front of you all. I have tried to tame the God we serve. That has come with a cost and I’m throwing it off and opening up to share every crazy thing that happens. Just call me a crazy freak for Jesus, I think that name suits me nicely.